Bantu Tribe Kenya, Africa - M’wana Ndeti, a member of Zaire’s Bantu tribe, used an IBM System i hard disk drive yesterday to crush a nut.

Ndeti, who spent 20 minutes trying to open the nut by hand, easily cracked it open by smashing it repeatedly with the powerful disk drive.

“I could not crush the nut by myself,” said the 47-year-old Ndeti, who added the savory nut to a thick, peanut-based soup minutes later. “With IBM’s help, I was able to break it.” Ndeti discovered the nut-breaking disk drive yesterday, when IBM was shooting a commercial in his southwestern Zaire village. During a break in shooting, which shows African villagers eagerly teleconferencing via computer with Japanese school children, Ndeti snuck onto the set and took the hard drive, which he believed would serve well as a “smashing” utensil.

IBM officials were not surprised the longtime computer giant was able to provide Ndeti with practical solutions to his everyday problems. “Our System i offers people all over the world solutions that fit their specific needs,” said Herbert Ross, IBM’s director of marketing. “Whether you’re a nun cloistered in an Italian abbey or an Aborigine in Australia’s Great Sandy Desert, IBM has the ideas to get you where you want to go today.”

According to Ndeti, of the hard drive’s many powerful features, most impressive was its hard metal casing, which easily sustained several minutes of vigorous pounding against a large stone. “I put the nut on a rock, and I hit it with the hard drive,” Ndeti said. “The hard drive did not break. It is a good hard drive.”

Ndeti was so impressed with the hard drive that he purchased a new, state-of-the-art IBM System i model 520, complete with a PowerPC microprocessor. The tribesman has already made good use of the computer system, fashioning a gazelle trap out of its wires, a boat anchor out of its power supply and a crude but effective weapon from its Ethernet cable.

“This is a good computer,” said Ndeti, carving up a just-captured gazelle with the computer’s flat, sharp internal processing device. “I am using every part of it. I will cook this gazelle on the side cover.” Hours later, Ndeti capped off his delicious gazelle dinner by smoking the computer’s 200-page owner’s manual.

IBM spokespeople praised Ndeti’s choice of computers. “We are pleased that the Bantu people are turning to IBM for their business needs,” said company CEO William Allaire. “From Kansas City to Kinshasa, IBM is bringing the world closer together. Our cutting-edge technology is truly creating a global village.”

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