Mid-Deranged.Com http://mid-deranged.com IBM Midrange Humor, Satire, History and More - Dedicated to the computer formerly known as the IBM AS/400, iSeries, i5 and System i… Wed, 16 Dec 2009 17:17:17 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 en hourly 1 The Evolution of Math http://mid-deranged.com/2009/12/14/the-evolution-of-math/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/12/14/the-evolution-of-math/#comments Mon, 14 Dec 2009 17:05:38 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2009/12/14/the-evolution-of-math/ Teaching Math

Teaching Math in 1950: “A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of this price. What is his profit?”

Teaching Math in 1960 (Traditional Math): “A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production is 4/5 of this price; in other words, $80. What is his profit?”

Teaching Math in 1970 (New Math): “A logger exchanges a set L of lumber for a set M of money. The cardinality of set M is 100, and each element is worth $1. Make one hundred dots representing the elements of the set M. The set C of the costs of production contains 20 fewer points than set M. Represent the set C as a subset of M, and answer the following question: What is the cardinality of the set P of profits?”

Teaching Math in 1980: “A logger sells a truckload of wood for $100. His cost of production is $80, and his profit is $20. Your assignment: underline the number 20.”

Teaching Math in 1990 (Outcome Based Education): “By cutting down beautiful forest trees, a logger makes $20. What do you think of this way of making a living? (Topic for class participation; How did the forest birds and squirrels feel?)”

Teaching Math in 2000: “By laying off 40% of its loggers, a company improves its stock price from $80 to $100. How much capital gain per share does the CEO make by exercising his stock options at $80? Assume capital gains are no longer taxed, because this encourages investment.”

Teaching Math In 2010: “El hachero vende un camion carga por $100. La cuesta de production es………….” :-\

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/12/14/the-evolution-of-math/feed/ 0 IBM Announces the new Power 995 Server http://mid-deranged.com/2009/06/05/ibm-announces-the-new-power-995-server/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/06/05/ibm-announces-the-new-power-995-server/#comments Fri, 05 Jun 2009 14:01:00 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/10/09/ibm-announces-the-new-power-995-server/ death-star-3 Rochester MN – The new IBM Power™ 995 server is the most powerful server ever offered by the IBM Galactic Empire. This server provides out-of-this-world performance with massive scalability. The Power 995 is by far the most remarkable technological product of the IBM Galactic Empire. It is a brutal and awesome culmination of engineering and science of a galaxy-spanning organization. With unrivaled power, it can perform an infinite loop in under 4-seconds and requires two HALT instructions to stop it.

It was designed to help enterprises, governments and empires deploy the most cost effective and flexible IT infrastructure while achieving the industry’s best application performance. As the most powerful member of the IBM Power™ Systems family, this server provides exceptional performance and massive scalability. It’s full range of complex, mission-critical applications include:

  • Large-scale transaction processing
  • Massive-scale server consolidation
  • Ultra-high bandwidth communications
  • Super-advanced data mining and warehousing
  • Small planetary systems destruction

At 900 km (550 miles) in diameter, the IBM Power 995 must be deployed in a low-earth orbit and requires a 12-year lead time before orders of this product become operational.

Equipped with ultra-high frequency IBM POWER9™ processors in up to 1000-core, multiprocessing (SMP) configurations, the Power 995 server can scale rapidly and seamlessly to address the changing needs of today’s empires. It can seamlessly consolidate millions of UNIX®, IBM i (formerly known as i5/OS®) and Linux® application workloads onto a single system.

Powered by an array of 12 nuclear reactors generating up to 25 gigawatts of power, the IBM Power 995 can run continuously for 97 years.

With extraordinary power, proven IBM technology and expansive growth potential, the Power 995 server is ready to take your empire to the next level. Contact your local IBM representative today to place your order!

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/06/05/ibm-announces-the-new-power-995-server/feed/ 2 Egyptians More Advanced than Earlier Believed http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/28/egyptians-more-advanced-than-earlier-believed/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/28/egyptians-more-advanced-than-earlier-believed/#comments Thu, 28 May 2009 07:11:34 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/08/13/egyptians-more-advanced-than-earlier-believed/ Tomb Luxor, Egypt – An Egyptian-Dutch team unearthed a hall in a tomb at Zira Abu al-Naga, on the Westbank at Luxor. The tomb was thought to be another burial site because of its proximity to the tomb of Tutankhamun. However, upon entering the tomb, the discovery of a lifetime was made – an ancient data center, most likely used for the administration of King Tut’s royal society. Most astonishing was how well the data center was preserved with the main AS/400 server still intact. Most Egyptologist have agreed that the Egyptian culture was very advanced, but no one dreamed they had this kind of technology. It is now much easier to understand how the Ancient Egyptians dug their tombs and built their temples.

Datacenter In an exclusive interview with Mid-Deranged, SCA chief Zahi Hawass, the world’s most renowned Egyptologist, offered the following perspective: “Why is this discovery important? Because it answers so many questions of how the Egyptians were able to do what they have done. Everyone thought the Egyptians had some kind of magical power and now we find this data center in the Valley of the Kings. It was found seven meters away from King Tut! This area has been excavated before and yet we missed this site. What a discovery. So many things about the Egyptian civilization now make sense.”

Otto Schaden, leader of the team that uncovered the find, generally agrees with Hawass’ assessment. Standing in front of the site, Schaden told Mid-Deranged, “For all we know, there may be a S/370 buried here. Who knows? You can speculate endlessly.”

The find will be studied for some time before before all the answers are known. One of the most fortunate discoveries that will help in the research is the fact that the ancient AS/400 fired right up when power was applied to it. Data retrieval is currently underway. Hopefully preliminary results will be available soon.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/28/egyptians-more-advanced-than-earlier-believed/feed/ 5 Real Manufacturer of the Batmobile Revealed http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/21/real-manufacturer-of-the-batmobile-revealed/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/21/real-manufacturer-of-the-batmobile-revealed/#comments Thu, 21 May 2009 07:35:38 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/08/13/real-manufacturer-of-the-batmobile-revealed/ Armonk NY – Early photos of the prototype version of the famed Batmobile have revealed the real manufacturer as none other than IBM. Who else could pull off making a car with heavy armor plating, a high performance engine, rocket boosters and a weapons system controlled by an IBM Bladecenter running the IBM i operating system?

batmobile_Tumbler2

The Batmobile is depicted in the 2005 film Batman Begins and the 2008 film Batman: The Dark Knight. The film’s production designer described the machine as being a cross between a Lamborghini, a Hummer and an IBM System i.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/21/real-manufacturer-of-the-batmobile-revealed/feed/ 0 IBM Global Services Going Green http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/14/ibm-global-services-going-green/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/14/ibm-global-services-going-green/#comments Thu, 14 May 2009 18:00:46 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/08/06/ibm-global-services-going-green/ New York, NY – In the relatively modest confines of the Helen Mills Theater in New York City, Mike Daniels, Senior Vice President of IBM Global Technology Services, outlined IBM’s plan to save energy. As part of IBM’s Project Big Green, the services arm of IBM announced today that its 190,000 service technicians worldwide will be using the latest in green, zero-emissions, vehicles. The new service vehicle is called the “Smart Cart” and is produced by Smart GmbH, a subsidiary of Daimler AG of Germany, the same makers of the Smart Car.

Smart Cart

This eco-friendly approach will reduce IBM’s overall carbon output by as much as 7,500 tons of carbon emissions per year and save IBM $145,600,000 in fuel costs. In addition to the benefits to the environment, it is estimated the average service technician will lose about 16 pounds, saving IBM an additional $56,000,000 in health care costs.

So that’s what IBM is up to. What’s your company doing today to help protect our environment?

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/14/ibm-global-services-going-green/feed/ 0 IBM Power Systems Reset Button http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/07/ibm-power-systems-reset-button/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/07/ibm-power-systems-reset-button/#comments Thu, 07 May 2009 07:17:57 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/07/24/ibm-power-systems-reset-button/ Reset Button Rochester, MN – In order to better compete with the growing competition from PC Windows Servers, IBM plans to install a reset button on the newly announced Power Systems and change all IBM i operating system error message text to read “General Protection Fault – Press RESET.”

This new feature will give IBM customers the ability to compete head-to-head with Microsoft Windows servers. There is additional talk of adding another feature that will randomly cause the system to restart or lockup for no apparent reason. Because of the stable nature of the IBM i operating system it will be difficult to quickly implement this feature and therefore will have to come at a later date. However, with features like these it will give customers no reason to move to Wintel servers.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/05/07/ibm-power-systems-reset-button/feed/ 0 New Discovery on Mars: Positive Evidence of Life! http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/30/new-discovery-on-mars-positive-evidence-of-life/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/30/new-discovery-on-mars-positive-evidence-of-life/#comments Thu, 30 Apr 2009 07:00:19 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/2008/07/20/new-discovery-on-mars-positive-evidence-of-life/ HOUSTON, TX – Scientists rejoiced on Friday after learning NASA’s Phoenix Lander photographed what appeared to be evidence of life on Mars. At first inspection of the photo there seemed to be nothing remarkable about it.

Mars_panorama2

However, when magnified several times, it became clear there was something more than just rocks and sand on the Martian surface.

mars

Peter Smith, the University of Arizona researcher who leads the Phoenix mission’s science team, announced late Saturday that colleagues were convinced that the apparent life forms were trying to communicate with the Phoenix Lander, although at this time it is only speculation.

“To me personally, it was such a thrill to find such strong evidence of life. I was disappointed at the references to the IBM i, since I am a Unix man myself. Still, I’m just sitting on the edge of my chair waiting to see what the Phoenix Lander will reveal to us next.”

In the weeks ahead, the spacecraft will attempt an unprecedented examination of the apparent life forms. Those findings may reveal evidence of extensive Martian life and even the possibility of intelligence.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/30/new-discovery-on-mars-positive-evidence-of-life/feed/ 3 New Integer Found! http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/23/new-integer-found/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/23/new-integer-found/#comments Thu, 23 Apr 2009 07:55:32 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/blog/2008/06/new-integer-found IBM Research

ARMONK, NY – IBM research labs today announced a breakthrough in the discovery of a new integer. The as-yet unnamed number has been positively located between seven and eight. Seven and eight had been thought to be consecutive for many years.

Early responses from IBM scientists indicate that there is going to be a lot of trouble caused by this discovery, and many fields are going to feel the impact. Some of the implications immediately noted include:

  • A whole lot of numbers we thought were odd are, in fact, even.
  • All those big primes on which we based all our encryption schemes are not prime at all.
  • What do we call an octet now?

It appears that there is no corresponding negative integer, although there are still many groups who continue to look for new integers.

Historical Note: This is the first time in more than at least 175 years (probably a lot more) that a new integer has been found. There is no indication that the Romans knew of this number, they appear to have believed, curiously enough, that VIII followed VII!

IBM has not yet named this new integer pending application for international patent rights to this number. The implications of the granting of patent rights have created quite a stir among attorneys.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/23/new-integer-found/feed/ 3 The New IBM Network Boy http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/16/the-new-ibm-network-boy/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/16/the-new-ibm-network-boy/#comments Thu, 16 Apr 2009 06:17:04 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/blog/2008/06/the-new-ibm-network-boy IBM Network Boy Rochester MN – With the recent news of IBM’s intent to acquire the Nintendo Corporation it was further annouced today another joint development effort between IBM and Nintendo. IBM is announcing the Network Boy, a small handheld device that communicates with your IBMii, System i  or AS/400 network via RF and allows the user to navigate the network using four simple buttons. It has a small display screen that sports a mini-GUI and runs the Mario/OS operating system. The advantages are simplicity, low cost, and zero training for the younger generation of users.

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]]> http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/16/the-new-ibm-network-boy/feed/ 0 COMMON Entrance Exam http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/09/common-entrance-exam/ http://mid-deranged.com/2009/04/09/common-entrance-exam/#comments Thu, 09 Apr 2009 11:49:03 +0000 AS/400 Geek http://mid-deranged.com/blog/2008/06/common-entrance-exam Chicago, IL – COMMON user group president Randy Dufault has expressed concern at the increasingly low quality of people joining COMMON. He has decided to implement a new entrance exam required for all new applicants for membership into the group in hopes to weed out the undesirable. The exam questions are as follows:

1. What is twice the half of 1 3/7?
2. How many cubic feet of earth are there in a hole measuring 3’wide by 4’ long by 5’ deep?
3. Do you know how long cows should be milked?
4. Where was Queen Cleopatra’s temple?
5. In what month do Americans eat the least?
6. How many marbles can you put in an empty bag?
7. The produce manager at the local supermarket stands 6’ tall, has a 46” chest and wears size 13 shoes. What do you think he weighs?
8. If a duck came paddling down the Nile, where would it have come from?
9. How long will a seven-day grandfather clock run without winding?

Answers:

1. 1 3/7
2. There is no earth in a hole.
3. The same way that short cows are milked.
4. On the side of her forehead.
5. February; it has fewer days
6. One; after that it is not empty.
7. Apples, pears, potatoes, bananas, etc.
8. An egg.
9. Without winding it will run for no time at all.

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